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#1 from article on Cracked called “Five Most Common Responses to Awkwardness that Make Things Worse” omg haha

#1 Trying to Not Let People Know you are Pooping.

Girls (in general) do not like anyone to be paying attention when they are pooping. There must be some modest guys out there as well, but I do read a lot of proud wacky stories about guys’ poop experiences in public restrooms so maybe guys don’t care as much. I can tell you that a lot of girls will go to great lengths when they poop in a public restroom to make sure nobody else is in the restroom when they poop, because it is incredibly awkward to be in a silent restroom that is acoustically perfect for broadcasting poop audio in every detail, and know that some lady is quickly packing up in the next stall trying to pretend she doesn’t notice.

Getty
This is the last age most girls will feel comfortable pooping in someone else’s presence.

In order to poop solo, girls will often check the stalls when they go in, and leave if any are occupied, which creates some minor awkwardness for the people already in the bathroom. They might also just go into a stall, get ready, and wait for the other occupants to finish peeing and leave. This creates some more awkwardness when the other occupants take too long, or dawdle doing their makeup, and new people come in, making the wait even longer.


DAMN YOU ALL!

But probably the most awkward situation is a poo standoff. This occurs when two people have the same idea - to wait out everyone else and then poop. Since each person is waiting for the other person to finish up and leave, after a few minutes it’s pretty clear to both people what is going on. Trying to work it out with a conversation - “Okay, so did you want to poop first?” - is probably the most awkward of possible solutions since it involves directly admitting poop is going on, so either one person just goes, “Fuck it,” and poops, while rolling the toilet paper loudly to make some cover-up noise, or one person packs it up (flushing in order to pretend they did something) and decides to come back later.

The Japanese (who else) have come up with a technological solution to the problem. The Sound Princess is a gadget that plays a running water sound to drown out your poo (and pee) noises.

Tokyo360.net
The Sound Princess, a very real thing.

Before its invention, Japanese women were just flushing constantly to make that cover-up noise, which wasted a lot of water.

And even the Sound Princess causes its own share of awkwardness as people try to figure out how many button pushes they need to finish the job, and imagine themselves being judged by other people when they get out based on how many times they pushed the button.



Read more: 5 Common Responses to Awkwardness (That Make Things Worse) | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-common-responses-to-awkwardness-that-make-things-worse_p2/#ixzz1XEyrR5XH

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